ACT : 17 2009 rofl

wow half a year since i've posted , been busy here, busy there, busy no where.
played a few online games; Atlantica,Draconica,HellsGate,Mafia wars, SuddenAttack
and soon in june, Knights of Cygnus maple again. hehe hope the community isnt as fcuk up as before F2.

ok back to my bike lessons, reached Lesson 6 ^^, and its too bitchy to explain all the hardships i've taken to reach where i am now, hopefully by October i will be able to ride, RIDE ON RIDE ON!!!!!!!!! listening to a couple Jason Mraz songs - Im Your's and Lucky, excelllent excellent song and lyrics. loved it.

ACT : 16 Taking my class 2B licence experiences

Practical 1 -
Never wanted to ride a bike, juz love the feelings when riding. nothing more nothing less
seen from singapore bikes forum some member's avatar logo :
4 Wheels moves the body whereas 2 Wheels moves the soul. Soooooo TRUE!!!!!!!!!
once ur riding a bike on a free road,free world,free free sweet freedom (besides the road tax,insurance,
fuel,parking,parking coupon,maintenace,bike wash,etc which is NOT free) for others, theres always your
soul to enjoy if u play by the book and pay with your soul if you challenge the book.

Anyway, i started off with booking of my first practical lesson at CDC Ubi on 3rd Nov 2008. then during orientation, instructor asked me did i booked Theory ? i replied with a sneering shy laugh.....yeeee....s si......r
it......s o....n 1ST DEC 2008 rofl. then he gave me a reserved time slots on 10th nov Theory 1 and 2 and 14th nov Theory 3 and 4. woooot happy happy HAPPY WOO^^.

then came first lesson start off with awkward stretchings, quite fun lar, and can see a few chio bus also taking the bike lessons. kekekekekeke. started with concept of gear and throttle biting points in a small round circuit teaching us biting points and change gears, its fun. then gone for the cdc whole circuit tour, the feeling of the winds blow unto my face beats anything in this world. i can already feel my freedom at grasp as long as i dun kill my instructor first with out of control bikes woohooooo!! overall the instructor is very nice, he is stern with a slight hint of a funny and relaxing guy but yet firm hehe. (SIR, IF U SEE MY BLOG, GIVE ME A FEW MERIT POINTS PL0X)

even up until now, i have no words that can comprehend THAT feeling of riding a bike.i juz.........lurveeee it, if i was asked to explain the feeling with something, iwould probably said its better than sex without second thought
(THOUGH I HAVE NO BLOODY IDEA HOW IT FEELS LIKE.............. HOPE i dun become a 40 years old virgin-that would have sucks i think)

During training on riding, all woes are gone behind the wind, and the front winds resemblance of my future asking me to keep going and going and going and going BUT STOP AT ZEBRA CROSSING IF GOT PEOPLE AND RED LIGHTS, dun wanna kena gantung licence now do we ? if time freezes at that moment, i would have continued forever till out of fuel then go refuel and do it ALL OVER AGAIN

riding bikes does incur the risks that strings attached with it, as my parents always says ur skin covering metals, instead of cars with steel covering the skin. however, riding bikes gives a different kind of pleasures that you will never get riding a car even with windows open.

My deep feelings that i compared to cars and bikes are :
When i drove a car, i scared people bang me or i bang people = pay money repairs
When i drove a bike, i dun feel A THING that worries me, NOTHING at all. juz sheer PLEASURES of im holding the sticks, deciding my own lifes with freedom, i control my life with my 2 hands, 2 legs,2 eyes and 2 ears. i believe in fate, which is why when its time for me to die, i will die even when im at home or driving a car.
but i also believes is statistics. (every engineers likes statistics-thats juz how lifes are....>.when i ride a bike, statistics increase that i have higher possibities of meeting mishaps or accidents IF i go over the book, if im inside the book, thats fate. no one can beat fate, unless ur dead then ur free from the shackles of fate.

6th nov will be my second Practical 1, hope i passes it, or maybe the instructor sees my deep neverending talents of riding a bike will give me A CLASS 2 LICENCE STRAIGHT. (ITS JUZ SO DAMN HARD WHEN UR TALENTED HOR-my pure fictional creative imaginary imaginations)

hope i can feel the happiness i felt that day after 10 years when i re-reading my blog ^^.

watchout on my details on 6th nov practicals. signing off- VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

Act 15 : Impulsive poems

You are my inspiration,
The reason I learn,
The passion I yearn,
and thanks for your concern,
end up treating you dinner, my money’s burned……

remember the days that we have met,
after that everyday MSN chat,
sometimes talk until I cried and my shirts wet,
other times argue until I perspire sweat,

everyone knows, Life’s isn’t fair,
especially the one important to you don’t care,
making you miserable and kick and swear,
end of the day LL have to bear,
hoping tomorrow will be better, life’s will be fair

But to bear the pain, it aches me more,
Til my heart bleed , follow up by sore,
I understand I wont be hurt if my heart is pure,
Setting sunsets and tidal waves at shore,

Act 14 : I have evolved to a better more confident more alive ME

I don’t believe in fate, if you ask any couples, at some point of their life’s, they got to have met the spouse they’re married. At some point of their live right ? I mean be it love at first sight or 日久生情 or 仇家变情人.

If you have never met a girl at some other country, never msn, never Friendster, never online chat, there’s no possibilities of both being friends, lovers, couples. That’s why there are more strangers in your life than having friends you know.

If you work backward based on all info’s and past experiences, you fall in love with someone you thought know very well from groups of people you have met and probably know abit well. In short, you choose the best options
Out of all that you know, while neglecting some other more compatible persons who at that moment is a complete stranger to you.

I find it scary because its practically impossible for me to know everyone in this world, in fact I might not even know myself that well as my mind portraits who I am to me but behave differently at other people’s point of view.

I’m scared to make the choices of who should I fall in love with for she was chosen out of a tiny minute fraction of the world populations. Some people quoted 茫茫人海中找到了您. How can they possibly know everyone inside this world ? 茫茫认识和见过的人当中您是最好的 would be more appropriate. It is fact. We are just making a random choice of who we will live and grow old and till death do us part.

Therefore, those who believe in fate should stay single, and if you believe in fate and still married out of like 200 people you have met in youe life in this world, you are obviously deceiving yourself to think you have achieve happiness and its part of your fate. The only fate you’re right is you have made a choice, a decision and stick to that decision no matter what. That’s what some people called 命运是掌握在自己的手中，爱情是自己去争取的.

By the way, if you don’t understand what I have wrote, don’t fret, I don’t either, I just wrote whatever shoots out of my mind and I find this topic to be an important guidelines for people who are lost or 迷惑, just like my past 25 years of lives, but I got out of the maze, released of my Ex-life philosophy. I no longer hesitate, I shall make my decision and control my own fate. My past 25 years have been dark and raining, today my world is bright and colourful, its beautiful until I can sing out “Life is beautiful” I won’t hold up and deny anymore. Today I shall exert my past secrets and announce it for it is the truth and nothing but the truth!!!!!

My favourite food is lor mee with a lot of vinegar, sharks fin with a lot of vinegar, I like to build gundam models but I’m lazy to paint and paste their standard stickers. I got 好感 to a girl when I am form 3, I’d gift her flower bouquets and scented candles to her during those valentine events organized. her name is Susan Tan, I liked her and still liked her still, whether love or not I’m not sure but because of distance apart, I can’t made up my mind to express my feeling. I’m always in a dilemma and its not because I’m scared to confess, there’s this considerations of future meet ups would be exceptionally difficult and stuffs, so I decided not to confess and take this secret to the coffin is a decision I previously made. But it sure is damn hard to keep something like this sealed and locked away and keys thrown away. I’d had enough of cooping it up, Im gonna bursts it all out right here right now.

I like elmo and I think im obsessed by its colour and voice. I hate queing but I’m a considerate person, I always take into considerations of other peoples/strangers feelings whenever and whatever I do, I like occupying my time with many things, but I barely can think of anything worth doing, always end up finding games to play.

I liked bowling, I like the sensations whenever I’m in control of the game, I get upset on stuffs and people easily, I’m a hot headed person but easy to control kind of person. Im easygoing or cincai, I everything also cincai unless I specific bout something then I really mean it and then the hot headedness kicks in hahahah.

I am an emo guy, I can work whole day without plannings afterwork and I can suddenly take leave or after work go to beach see ocean or go anywhere peculiar or go mountain see sights and basically think about life and my future and sometimes think of wad I did in the past and stuffs…….alone
There are tons of things I wanna say, but there isn’t anything I can think of to say anymore. So that’s all for now, kindly anticipate more posts by the NEW BETTER ME^^

Act 13 : Aiishiteru no tobira (Door of love) (+_+)

I will reach my hand to you whenever you needed them, I will lend you my shoulder unconditionally when you want a cry on. I will shower you with tenderness, I will walks to the ends of the world with you side by side by mutual understanding, I will create magic from my power called love to make you feel cherished. These are the vows I made in my heart the moment I fell in love for you.

So whatever you may have seen or encountered, Please don’t give up on me, believe in me, cry for me and most importantly call for me. And together, nothing is impossible, we shall break against all odds in life and merge as one and fight towards the uncertain future to gain that one important thing – Happiness. It doesn’t falls down from the skies, it doesn’t came to you by begging, it can’t be bought, it can’t be stolen. It can only be gained by fighting.

I am not sure how many crossroads I have crossed in my life, but I am certain that until the day I have met you, and from that instant moment on, my life has been moving on a straight line and I’m always behind you- the dot that always moving. I have tried running, sprinting, dashing and rest when I’m tired, and the moment I noticed you have gained pace, sometimes I fall down and you held me up, sometimes I give up and u gave me hope, I strive on, giving my all to closen our gaps.

This road is not the road that I choose, I was unaware that I was on this 1 lined road until recently that I saw nothing ahead but you. a road that you are in it, occasionally you turned your face to me and smiled its like taunting me to buck up and hold down my determination and pursue, and for that smile that I want to see again, I shall cast away my uncertainty, my weakness, my incompetency, my dreams, my hopes, my future, my everything to get hold of you.

The day I outrun you and hold you in my arms is the day I shall have enough courage, enough determination, enough passion, enough…….love to let you know “ I liked you ever since we met on a crossroad in our life”
I have encountered storms, challenges, happiness, sadness, while I’m on the pursue, however with me still moving towards you relentlessly proves the testaments of time that I have never give up on you. Of course yet I have made no effort and courage to reach the finishing line. Therefore we are always running ahead, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes caught into slumber and we console each other whichever is low, but we move on, on this marathon of life where I’m afraid I might be known to truth that I have been disqualified from the beginning because there is someone running ahead of you that you are pursuing, the day when the pursued has become the pursuer is the day I will never acknowledged.

Act 12 : Despair

Downpour for a few days negates my repulsiveness, cools my head and body. I wish weather would stay remained like this for the rest of my life. Raining is always being used to compare and represents sadness, solitude and bad things.

However, for an isolated person like me, a cast away of the human society, I felt happy. No sadness for I have never met happiness, no victory for I have no companion to share and rejoice and no expressions on my face for I have locked my heart with a thousand emotional locks and have cast away the keys to the depths of ocean called loneliness ever since I ever recalled. The path of lights is dimly fading, darkness has always been a friend on the road of my life.

Everyday, wandering around wondering, gasping breaths and trying to reach above towards the fading light, hoping for salvation of my soul, hands wide open prying and feeling around in the darkness, nothing seen, nothing heard, nothing felt, nothing tasted, nothing smelled. Plain blank pitch dark, and it calms me down, I have gotten used to this loneliness that its getting harder for me to accept someone, anyone for when they are gone, the light is switched off and I will be thrown into the darkness of despair once again, yet again………….

No ends is seen and therefore no beginnings, my life has always been a piece of shit, nothing worth seeing, nothing worth mentioning, if it hasn’t been the day few years back that I was given a false hope, I wouldn’t have gone so low to feel these fake emotions. The false hopes the dried up my ocean of loneliness and the fake hand gesture reaching for me and unlocked my cold dry heart while the other hand warms it up with magic’s called caring, love, sharing. But the things given to me doesn’t last.

They fade away, they disappear along with your shadow, a mark etched on the corner of my heart, an injury that will never mend, the magic that was given earlier turned bad into deceit, lies, disgust and made into hatred. Unlimited amount of hate fills my lungs while I vomit with flames called destruction, the hateness due to the hopes that ends up to turn up into despair.

After hate had subsided, ocean of loneliness fills up again, and once again the heart is locked with an even stronger lock. And life goes on wit nothing to look forward to.

Such unprecedented abominations shall be crucified to wear down their soul, breaking their hopes and crush their dreams and left out on the gorge of death, letting the deathgod to smite the finishing blow to their lives and their corpse rotten away into the sands of time.

Act : 11 Wings of Hope

Darken skies and violent storms announcing the arrival of destruction
Darken skies of the darkest hour blinds all our senses
Binding us to become slave for fear
Fear for the lost for all possessions
Love, money, memories, health, friends, families, bonds
Swaying trees resembling our never ending test of faith and courage
Dare to stand against all odds disregard of the level of destruction the storm brings
Disregarding the odds, stood against time and face the test of gods
Whether it’s a gentle breeze or a roaring typhoon, stood to your ground
Never to step back an inch for the dreams you have
All dreams roots back to the holy word called “tomorrow”
Without the dreams of tomorrow, there is nothing for us in this world
Search for your tomorrow as if your life depends on it
For it is the dream that will make your life worth living for
Tearing down the barrier of excruciating pain of yours
Burn down the chain of freedom that’s locking you
For the freedom we are born with never comes with a chain,
This superficial chain that your heart has locked you in and rejects your tomorrow
For it is known to us that spring comes alive after the storm
No matter rains or shine, lift up your spirit and face everyday’s challenge
We can pray and fight to survive the hardships and live to see horizontal beauty awaits us tomorrow
So fly, fly onto the soaring sky with no boundaries and barriers,
Where freedom and dreams exists for you and me and everyone of us

So right now, find the key that unlocks your chain so that your wings will be able to soar to the sky once again
After all, each and everyone of us have flown once before when we were born,
Its just that most of us has forgotten that we have wings in the beginning

Even I’m still struggling to find the key that I don’t even know what where when who why. So friends,Lets find the keys together and we will never lost alone because everything is under the gentle blue skies…..
From the stupid genius of your time : Johnny Woo 18th July 2008 Present